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Week 5: Patriots vs. Lions

Welp, this wasn't what any of us thought or wanted to happen

We're Week 5 and I'm not even sure who the QB is, anymore. I still feel pretty damn good about this defense, the young guys, and the vets that they're learning from. This is Bill F'n Belichick. He's going to pull something out of his ass, right? This is Fat Patricia's revenge game, right? JFC, he's terrible. First time I non-homer this. Pats lose by a lot.

Lions win 36-17

Bold Prediction: Judon dominates and we still lose

Thoughts from the board


Relatively high-scoring game. Pats make a few plays more than the Lions.

Patriots win 31-27

Bold Prediction: Zappe throws for 3 TDs against the Lions atrocious defense.


Pat Patriot propels Pats to victory.

Patriots win 33-24

Bold Prediction: Patriots realize that the blue/silver uniforms suck, and make the throwbacks permanent.


Pats defense slows down jared goff and the lions... whoever plays qb for the pats doesn't have any major screw-ups and the offense relies on the harris/stevenson combo to control the game

Patriots win 24-17

Bold Prediction: Somebody named Jones scores a TD


Dare we call this the Matt Patricia revenge game? (Of course not.)

Patriots win 31-19

Bold Prediction: Jack Jones 2 picks


Red Jerseys=High scoring offense

Patriots win 42-10

Bold Prediction: Zappe throws 4tds, Dan Campbell does Oklahoma drills at halftime, and ESPN starts a Mac vs Zappe debate in which we get the classic BB stare.


The Patriots fall behind early and have to open it up.

Patriots win 41-38

Bold Prediction: The Wild Wild West comes to Foxboro.


Pats have had Goff's number in the past. I think he's going to be nuetralized, and the Lions run game held in check.

Patriots win 38-13

Bold Prediction: Bailey Zappe tosses FOUR tuddies. Take that PPB!


As it stands this Friday morning both teams appear to be heading into Sunday without many of their key players.

Patriots win 13-3

Bold Prediction: The ghost of SB LIII will haunt Goff this October.


Lions run well. Pats have a problem defending the run. Zappe vs Goff

Lions win 27-24

Bold Prediction:


Lions: #1 offense, #32 defense. On the road against Belichick and a rookie QB. Honestly, this is impossible to predict.

Lions win 26-13

Bold Prediction: One Lions vet will "accidentally" tackle Matt Patricia on the sideline.


Fuck it. I have no clue anymore how these games are going to shake out.

Patriots win 21-17

Bold Prediction: I like you, Scratch.


Lions are all banged up and the Pats have Zappe. But I think Bill will have something cooked up to mess with Goff and force him into some poor decisions.

Patriots win 24-20

Bold Prediction: Wynn and Browm make it through the game without getting hurt. Wynn will have 0 penalties called on him. Mills won't suck. This will be the week that all three predictions come true! Or not.


Both are bad on defense, but the Loins are better on offense.

Lions win 24-20

Bold Prediction: This game will be slightly more engrossing than Thursday night's game.

Mark Patriots

Both defenses take the day off

Patriots win 45-42

Bold Prediction:


Trickery and misdirection abound, Damien Harris wildcat, triple reverses, fake FGs, let's go

Patriots win 28-23

Bold Prediction: Tyquan Thornton catches a TD and summons his undead skeletal bretheren from underground to do the truest Halloween-themed celebration dance in NFL history

Jarod Taylor Photo
Jarod Taylor
Memorable Sports Moments
Kevin Walker's tackle on Bo Jackson (childhood hero), ultimately ending his career, Steve Atwater's hit on Christian Okoye, Super Bowl XXXVI, The anger I felt when the Pats lost Super Bowl XLII, Malcolm Butler's interception against the Seahawks, The Pats comeback win in Super Bowl LI